it’s, like, one of those days. stuck at work but too disoriented to actually accomplish anything. my mind is in that confusing state where it is caught somewhere between nostalgia for the past and fear of the future.
well, not ‘fear’ of the future. not even ‘concern’, really. more like.. a general wondering of the future. it’s going to be a big year for me; like, the biggest year yet. so many huge changes; changes in myself and my surroundings. doing things and being somebody i’ve not really done or been before. i can’t tell if that weird feeling in my stomach is nerves or excitement. i guess it must just be anxiety… but not the “freak out” kind… i think it’s more just… i don’t know. i think i might be anxious to see how it all turns out, you know?
all i want to do is stay out of my head. i’ve always been good at forgetting about the past, not worry about the future and just living in the present… so i don’t see why now should be any different.
fuck it; 2011, bring everything you’ve got.